Don't have a better headline, sorry. Anyway, a rant it is, but streamlined.

  • FDA being sued by a collection of stale fruitcakes 
  • Five years ago, Simon Chapman had an idea.  
  • Back to now: vaping "doesn't look nice". What to do?

FDA saga continues

And you won't see the end of it. Your grandchildren – maybe. Last time we left you entertained, with Scott Gottlieb proposing anti-tomato regulations and collecting opinions on eggs and bacon. In the meantime, things have gotten too ridiculous even for parody.

You can't write it any more; when a certain threshold of idiocy is reached, it starts to write itself.

Let's just remember the organizations suing:

  • The American Academy of Pediatrics,
  • American Cancer Society Cancer Action Network,
  • American Heart Association,
  • American Lung Association, 
  • Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids and
  • Truth Initiative.   

Here we've got several orgs from the Overly Mercenary Grantees with Tobacco Fixation (OMG WTF) variety, whose manufactured paranoia has taken them beyond second and third hand smoke and landed their a$$es right in the middle of vaping.

To call them anti-tomato (that horrible plant with 4ng of nicotine, remember)  isn't funny any more. With their state of mind they can really become anti-tomato any time. If it ever suits them for some reason.

The said and saddest collection of stale fruitcakes with mouldy cherry on top is collectively suing Scott Gottlieb and FDA for not killing vaping fast enough for their taste. Were it on them, they'd axe the entire industry and continue to collect their unfair share of BigTobacco tax for the rest of their miserable lives. That moolah needs to keep coming, so they can waste some on projects like this stupidity. 

Organizations suing: the American Academy of Pediatrics, American Cancer Society, American Heart Association, American Lung Association, Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids and Truth Initiative.
Can't-handle-the-truth-Initiative and their trash writing

Or publish mini masterpieces about how an apple a day keeps the smoking away. 

In a better world, where these orgs, being nothing but one of tobacco's nasty side effects, have no money and influence, this article would induce laughter.

And I even laughed at it for a moment.

Then I remembered someone was actually paid to do that one. I'm not paid for any of mine, yet orgs are considered a respected part of their societies while I somehow belong to the astroturf ranks, according to some Aussie fruitcakes.

Which brings us to Aussie fruitcakes

Public health in that country is in a category of its own. Five years ago  it somehow refrained itself from implementing one grand idea born in the windmill draught between the ears of one of its finest – Simon Chapman (again. Deep sigh).

The idea was to introduce smart card smoking licenses. I reckon you won't believe this, so here's the link

If you don't feel like reading, genius wanted to have new smokers take a test to obtain the smoking license.  And we can all guess who would be the anointed, I mean appointed one to compose that pile of trash. Or at least supervise the endeavour. He even started it there and the first thing I saw was the black market flourishing more than ever.  

Then he wanted smokers to set self-limiting quotas over which they wouldn't be able to purchase cigarettes. Also, he required businesses selling tobacco cigs to not sell to anyone without the license and over the quotas, if they want to avoid harsh penalties. 

It didn't happen, but that doesn't mean it won't or can't in the future. Since I know about Simon, I've wanted to help him. So, here goes.

All joking aside, within this Orwellian scheme there's a plethora of other suggested bull that only a more equal could come up with to discipline other less self-important equals out there.  

Never once did that windmill draught in his head house a single thought about the black market. Simon lives in a world where everyone follows his rules, in the country with the most expensive Marlboro on earth. Not a single unintended consequence would ever appear in his fancy graphs. 

It would make sense that a country so restrictive to smoking welcomes vaping. Only if we forget an important thing: if they did  so, there would be less smokers left to abuse. Not to mention smoking tax mega dollars.  

Therefore Australia has a very complicated relationship with vaping. You can purchase batteries and tanks, but when you need to buy cigalikes or e-liquids, there's a bit of a problem. 

From OzVapour site  

"...disposable e-cigarettes or cartridges that contain nicotine are not for sale right across the country, but nicotine free ones and refillable devices can be sold unless state law ban them. It’s also not illegal to import nicotine liquids for personal use (with a prescription from a registered medical practitioner), again unless state law says otherwise, so that’s what most Australian vapers do. Liquid is easy to find from suppliers in New Zealand, or from Chinese manufacturers.“  

To top it all,  propaganda against e-cigs is insane and comes from the highest levels of public health. But lies and misconceptions about e-cigs persist everywhere, even in UK where a relatively high number of experts have favorable opinion on vaping as harm reduction.

Still, some decisions on lower levels are made by obvious morons.

UK councillor doesn't like vaping because "it doesn't look nice" 

Let that sink in.

We can certainly do much to accommodate the aesthetic preferences of esteemed councilwoman if we take some wisdom from the rulebook of one and only Simon and apply them to solving this delicate problem.

How about a license to look not-nice that any vaper can obtain from the local council.

According to Simon's rulebook, the said loser would have to take a  test for vaping losers  and set his or her own quota of looking not-nice hours. Obviously that quota needs to be very low, since he can look whatever he likes in his own home or when he's alone in any room.

Or can he?

Now, the vape shops should be held responsible not to sell to anyone without the said licence and to those that exceeded their daily hours quota of looking not-nice.   

See, problem solved. Just ask Simon.

Thanks to @NNAlliance @phil_w888  and @Vapingit  of VapingLinks for their tweets

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Written by Ljubica, @Switchtoecig, ex teacher, translator, passionate reader, ex smoker and now vaper, e-cig reviewer and vaping advocate.

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