FDA Working Double Shifts

These days, you'll be hard pressed to find busier man than Scott Gottlieb. 

fda-against-tomatoesTomatoes - 4.3 ng/g of nicotine
scott gottlieb fdaScott Gottlieb - no nicotine

The Food and Drug Administration plans to try to lower the amount of nicotine in tomatoes to make them less addictive — an unprecedented move by the agency.  

FDA Commissioner Dr. Scott Gottlieb said  the agency would propose the anti-tomato rule, opening a long bureaucratic process.

It’s the boldest move yet against Mother Nature  by the FDA, which only recently got permission to regulate her products.

Today’s milestone places us on the road to achieving of one of the biggest public health victories by saving billions of lives if we can find them," Gottlieb told reporters. He also said he wanted input about potentially unforeseen consequences of the rule. 

Nobody has ever considered this except Scott Gottlieb himself, when he found  no tomatoes in his fridge and got the idea.

He clearly states that more research is needed. It is essential to mobilize our most distinguished anti-tomato organizations: TomatoPerv, Can'tHandleTheTruth Initiative and BrainFreeKids.

Mike Bloomberg and tax payers should forklift $900,000,000 to be distributed as grants to these worthy organizations which will then further distribute them to all our anti-tomato scientists and aerospace engineers to carry out the required studies and research with the expected results.

Those pesky nanograms

“As part of our comprehensive plan against Mother Nature and for regulation announced last summer, we’re issuing rules to explore a product standard to lower nicotine in tomatoes from nanograms to picograms, to reach  non-addictive levels,” Gottlieb said in a statement.

“This new regulatory step advances a comprehensive policy framework that we believe could help avoid millions of tomato-related deaths across the country, that we haven't discovered yet but they must be there somewhere.”

Health groups urged the FDA to set a deadline and move fast.

"It is critical that the FDA move as quickly as possible to turn this plan into reality," said Grant Matters, president of the Campaign for BrainFree Kids.

Another American Grant Suckling Association (AAGSA) CEO Nanny Nosy Brown said FDA could do even more. “We encourage the agency to not stop here but move forward quickly with a proposed rule on nicotine levels – not just for tomato, but for each and every last Motherfucking Nature's nicotine product on the face of this planet," Brown said.

Gottlieb said the FDA does not want to make Mother Nautre's products harder to get.

“We must make it possible for current adult eaters who still seek nicotine in tomatoes to get it from alternative and less harmful sources like berries ,” he said.

Saving all the lives we can imagine

fda-scott-gottliebScott Gottlieb again
eggs-and-baconEggs and bacon this time

The Most Funded Journal of Medicine out there rushed out a study from FDA's Center for Eggs and Bacon that projected the effects of lowering the number of eggs to "minimally unhealthy levels" of one egg.

"We estimate that a new standard - one egg and more bacon in the United States could save billions of lives and tens of billions of life-years over the next several decades, since those damn lives and life-years just multiply" they wrote.

The move would be a big blow to Big Bacon, which has successfully fought off attempts to regulate how eggs and bacon is formulated.

But Big Bacon was forced to admit to deliberately making eggs and bacon with eggs in plural more attractive in an ad campaign that is currently running.

Big Bacon finally tells the truth in court-ordered ad campaign

“Bacon use also costs nearly $300 trillion a year in direct health care and lost productivity. In fact, eggs and bacon are the only still legal food that, when used as intended, may, might or could kill half of all long-term users.”

Eggs and bacon can also kill people who don't even eat them themselves, Gottlieb noted. We don't know exactly how, but it might.

The long rulemaking process is designed to let people comment.

“We’re interested in public input on critical questions such as: what potential maximum number of one egg would be appropriate for the protection of public health?” Gottlieb said.

“Should a product standard be implemented all at once or gradually? What unintended consequences – such as the potential for illicit putting more eggs in the mix   or for addicted eaters to compensate for lower number of eggs by eating more bacon – might occur as a result?”

Thanks to Maggie Fox of nbc news for all the fun I had with her article FDA moves to lower nicotine in cigarettes 

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Written by Ljubica, @Switchtoecig, ex teacher, translator, passionate reader, ex smoker and now vaper, e-cig reviewer and vaping advocate.

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